“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculpture.”  I read this quote graffitied on the cement seawall of San Francisco yesterday morning. It was one of many moments that stopped me on my run and caused me to pause a little longer and take in the scene around me. 

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I love to run and being able to go out and breathe some fresh air and listen to the sounds of nature has been a saving grace for me during our ‘shelter-in-place” ordinance here in California.  We are mostly living a homebound lifestyle amidst this global Coronavirus pandemic, but currently we are allowed to be outside for walks or runs so long as we stay at least 6 feet away from others.

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A strange shift has started to happen on my runs.  I have now become a traveler in my own city. Looking at my surroundings with new eyes, less rush, more presence and a deeper curiosity.  Maybe it’s the extraordinary circumstance that we’ve found ourselves in that gives me a traveler’s gaze into my everyday environment or perhaps it is the greater sense of slowed down time that gives me permission to stop and look and listen a little longer. 

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Without an ongoing to-do list running through my mind, I was present enough to notice and absorb these scenes: 

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• I saw an abandoned American flag and a bottle of antacids together on a park bench. It almost looked as if it were a public art installation.  A sign of the times.  

• The normally packed city bus was waiting at the bus stop, finally running on time but without a single passenger.

• I watched as a young man, probably in his 20s or 30s, ate directly from a public garbage bin. 

• I passed an older gentleman, his wrinkled eyes peering out over his protective face mask, as he watched the first rays of daylight hit the Pacific Ocean. 

• A graffitied wall with a quote of wisdom from French physicist, Alexis Carrel read: “Men cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculpture.”  I let those words sink in before I turned into Golden Gate park to continue on my way.  

• Birds were singing their morning songs, the cherry blossom trees were blooming beautifully across from the American Bison enclosure.  Once a critically endangered species, the bison in Golden Gate Park were part of the captivity breeding program. I’ve passed them many times before on my runs, but today I couldn’t help but ponder how similar we may feel with restricted movement in our defined space.  They have long lived shelter-in-place.

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I felt heartache and hope, inspiration and introspection pulse through me on my very ordinary run during extraordinary circumstances.  I felt grateful for new eyes and presence to witness my world.  

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We are living through a very strange and uncertain moment in history. There is so much pain, sickness, anxiety and unknown out there, but most of it feels beyond my realm of control. I am of course doing what I can to support local businesses, help protect the vulnerable by practicing social distancing and staying home except for brief walks/runs in nature, sending love and gratitude to the grocery clerks, delivery people, hospital and medical staff and all the other essential workers out there bravely helping things keep on keeping on.  

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But for now my job is to stay home and stay out of the way.  No new photography gigs can happen and all my recent ones that had been on the books are postponed indefinitely. I guess that means I’m temporarily unemployed. *Gulp*

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So…. I get groceries for my elderly neighbors. I homeschool my daughter. I cook nourishing meals for my family. I find the joy, beauty and silver linings amidst the chaos and unknown. That is what I can control, so that is what I am doing.

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Time is a commodity that always seemed in very short supply.  I often had this feeling of not having enough time. During this coronavirus craziness,  I’ve started a photo documentation project I call “All the Time We Never Had” and I am photographing all the little moments in my family life that we have been blessed to share with one another. This quarantined time, in a strange way, is a messenger for us all to slow down, express gratitude, care for others in a deeper way, and appreciate all that we may have previously taken for granted.

This is one of the most beautiful parts of this crisis for me personally.  I have un-rushed time to be with my family. It’s crazy that it took a global pandemic to get us here, but we are truly enjoying our lock-down time together (at least so far)…long morning snuggles, impromptu dance parties, interconnected online lessons from artists and musicians generously offering their gifts to learners from across the globe, making nourishing meals for my family, reading, art, games, painting kindness rocks, long walks at least 6 feet away from others 😉  and the list goes on.  

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I am actively taking in all this good while still being aware that there is a lot of scary and hard and overwhelming happening out there in the wider world.  But right now I am holding the container for my little family, and finding the beauty in the chaos. And what I’ve found is that it’s filled with rainbows and laughter and so much love.  So if you are privileged enough to have your health, and to not have to go into the hospital or supermarket trenches as part of your job, then I invite you to join me in documenting this time with your people.  

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Where do you see beauty during the day that perhaps you rushed right past before in the hub-bub of pre-Corona social distancing?  Actively witnessing, taking in and photographing this beauty helps ground me and to appreciate that which is beautiful. I hope it does for you as well.  Below are some of things I have photographed this week that I always want to remember from this time. May you seek, find, create and savor beauty. Happy clicking friends and be well!

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